Owned by the fears
and all mental tricks
that keep me quiet.
But it’s hidden inside.
Nodding while disappointing;
laughing while contradicting.
It’s part of the game
and the false name.
I am the monster
infiltrated in the system
spreading the cancer.
Waiting for the moment to attack.
In the instant you blink,
make sure you defend
for I will push your back
remembering the times you tried to offend.
I want to have time
to sit down and stare at the sun.
Get all blind because I wanted to
and then find a remedy for that.
I want to take the first flight
that leads me to where my instincts
want to be without worrying
if I will fit in.
I want to leave behind
the places that’s seen me grow up
’cause I didn’t really learn a thing
and never really believed in anything.
I want to have time.
I want it back.
I want to say ‘no’ when it’s necessary
and say ‘yes’ when it’s unexpected.
I can see it all clearly,
but I need time…a little time.
I’m still considering getting away.
Don’t be surprised if one day
you find I left while you were sleeping.
That’ll just mean I follwed the sun.
That I took my time.
Don’t say that it’s over,
the exciting thing
is just beginning.
You can’t run anyway.
If you didn’t listen to them,
back then,
why would you do it now?
They wouldn’t drag you down.
With their mentality, with their stupidity.
Never excuse,
never imitate them.
It’s not over.
They’re the ones confused.
Who said life is about
doing the same everyday.
If they’re lost,
it’s their own consequence.
Always refuse
to think like them
and amuse the way day do.
It’s not over for you.
You tell me about your memories,
I see your eyes when you remember.
You relive all the details…
as if it was yesterday.
And even though you’re smiling,
I know deep down inside
your heart is dying
’cause it’s all gone away…
And I never know what to say.
I just stare and wonder
what I could do
to help you forget. For forever.
I would have gladly rejected
my chance to come to this world.
Just so your memories wouldnt have existed.
There was never a past. I don’t know where all the previous experiences (if any) came from. I’m not sure if there’s a future ’cause then again, there’d have to be a past.
And the present is just this moment. The only time for awareness at all.
I can’t say there’s a new day or a new memory. It’s just one second after another. Collecting partial information.
Sometimes I do have glimpses of where I was, what I used to think or who I used to be…and feel like it’s all light years away. Everything changes every second.
And all I ever find is myself in the middle of nowhere. And if I’m still in the same place time after time, then life means to walk in circles.
Nothing like this moment
to throw it all away.
To change my mind
and decide that yesterday is gone.
Nothing like this moment
to claim I’ve found myself.
Like never before.
So much better each day.
I know what I am
’cause I’ve experienced
what I am not.
My true self.
Nothing like this moment
to destroy the mirror,
for there is no one in front
to reflect the false existence.
Nothing like this moment
to embrace the perfect prision.
Nothing like this moment
to risk more than ever.
My false god
has traveled the world
to spread the word
about his ignorance.
My false god
uses vulgar language
to impress his devoted followers
so that they can kiss his ass.
Reading his eyes
has led me to exclusion.
The rare comprehension
from time to time.
My false god
turns his back on me
’cause he knows what’s good for me.
And I know better.
His success is my devastation,
but mine will be his destruction.
From this day on,
I will never forget you.
My memories are still alive
as I move on.
I was aware
of your existance,
but you weren’t.
Through me, you live.
Wherever you are,
though you don’t remember me,
take care of me
and live through us.
Do you sense my silence?
Can you even hear yourself?
What can I say
from the little corner of my world.
Each word from you
demonstrates I don’t belong.
Your space is not mine.
Your name is not mine.
And I have,
in this silence,
is the conviction
that our perception is wrong.
We’re not who we think we are.
Anxiety outside.
Noise inside.
I do not want
our daily bread.
Lose me
while you lose yourself,
but don’t take me with you.
I still have something to do.
I see myself,
and it’ll never be the same.
Must stay sane.
There’s still time.
Took away
what was left of humanity.
Never turned back.
Made it my reality.
I did what I could.
